Why Can't My Dog Do This?

I take that back. I want my dog to do much more than just ride a Roomba. I want him to drag his lazy ass to the closet, get the Dirt Devil out, vacuum up all the rooms, clean the crap out of the remote controls and then rub the skidmarks out of my chonies. When he's done there, he can scrub the bathroom tile grout, clean the oven, defrost the freezer and then make me a gin martini. Yeah, fucking right. Doing that shit will get in the way of his full-time job as Head Nap Taker.

And this video of a pussy on a Roomba is pretty much what the inside of my head looks like.

Below I've thrown in some pics of Vadge and A-Rod in NYC today, because these two twats seem to go perfectly with Pussy on a Roomba. I don't exactly know why, but they just do.